The Glee Actually Series
by KiannaKitter
Summary: It is set during Glee Actually, Christmas Eve, late at night. Both Burt and Blaine are asleep while Kurt think things through and somehow ends up in the same bed with Blaine. Later Blaine wakes up spooning with Kurt and things happen. The morning after they have to deal with the consequences.
1. A Night of Reflection

It was so easy to love him. It would be so easy to give in. Too easy. When he was like this. All still, features relaxed...fast asleep in his perfection. He hadn't seen Blaine's sleeping face for such a long time and Kurt let himself stare. Who would know?

Rachel wasn't there to catch him in the act, staring at his sleeping ex like some creeper and his dad was asleep too, on the couch. The couch that was meant for Blaine. Blaine who was now sleeping on his bed. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. But after Burt fell asleep on the couch he hadn't had the heart to wake him and he hadn't noticed Blaine drifting off until it was too late. Kurt had been reading Vogue in the chair and Blaine had been on the bed reading a book and before he knew it hours had passed and he was the only one awake. He looked at the clock on the wall, it was 3:15 am...on Christmas Eve, but he didn't feel tired.

A part of him wondered if Blaine had done it on purpose? Why hadn't he chosen Rachel's bed? Why his? But somehow he knew it had been an accident, Blaine had not planned on falling asleep on Kurt's bed and he hadn't planned on looking absolutely beautiful while doing so either, it wasn't Blaine's style to be sneaky or manipulative. But more importantly, why was Kurt now contemplating not choosing Rachel's bed either? He looked over at the dark corner that was Rachel's side of the apartment, at her bed. Cold, empty. Then back at his own bed. Warm and...not empty. He knew exactly which one was more tempting to him and he didn't like it one bit or maybe the problem was that he liked it a little too much?

He sat down on the foot of the bed, quietly as a mouse and very carefully picked up the book that had fallen from Blaine's hands and was now resting on his chest. What had he been reading? Oh... A walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks. Kurt hadn't read the book but he'd seen the movie, with Blaine actually. He remembered Blaine had cried at the end. They had both cried. It was such a sad story.

___Why would he be reading that at Christmas? _

Then he remembered the story was about a guy who lost the love of his life. Something in his heart ached. He knew why Blaine was reading it. He knew. Because he knew Blaine.

The love was still there. He still felt it from Blaine and for Blaine. He was well aware of how Blaine looked at him, just a little too long, stealing glances when he thought Kurt didn't notice. He noticed. He had been hyper aware of every movement Blaine had made since he arrived. Unlike in the beginning of their weird friendship that was always a little bit more than that, where he hadn't been able to read him, now he could. Because now he really knew him. Intimately. He knew what all of his expressions meant, what he would say in almost every situation, how he would say it.

He knew that Blaine had been very nervous at the ice skating rink. Anxious even. To see him. He had been just a tad more hyper than usual, talked a bit too fast. Probably afraid of rejection. But the honest truth was that the thought of sending Blaine back to Lima had not even crossed Kurt's mind for a second. What he felt when he saw him was not anger or the hurt like the last time they had been face to face and it was more than surprise. It was...happiness.

Isabelle had been more right than he could ever imagine. Forgiving felt...good. He had felt instantly lighter after the phone call at Thanksgiving. Like a big burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He was so glad he'd taken her advice and grateful to her that she had given it to him, that she had known what he needed when he himself didn't. He had the greatest boss. If he hadn't listened to her he could and would probably have been bitter about what happened forever. Not that he wasn't still hurt. The hurt was there in his heart trapped together with the love for this man he couldn't shake, even after everything, they were fighting for dominance and right now the love was winning.

Blaine shifted in his sleep. He lifted his right arm above his head which pulled his shirt up, just a tiny bit revealing his stomach and abs. Kurt stared, he couldn't help it. He stared at the tanned skin, at the dark hair...followed the trail down...down...down. To where it disappeared into the rim of his underwear barely showing at the top of his tight pants. He always wore those tight pants that shaped his ass just right. Kurt swallowed hard. He wanted to touch him so badly. His hand reached out like it had a mind of it's own. He stroked Blaine's skin lightly, he knew it wouldn't wake him, because Blaine was a sound sleeper. And he was right, Blaine didn't even stir. Kurt felt the heat from the skin against his fingers. It reminded him of the first time and he suddenly had to pull away and turn his back to the bed in order to control himself, the urge was so strong. He wanted to curl up next to him, put his arms around him, breathe in his raspberry scent...

___Stop it! God! What is wrong with me?!_

Kurt stood up horrified and started pacing, his thoughts screaming at him.

___Like it isn't bad enough that you were staring at him sleep, now you are touching him too?! While he's sleeping, without him knowing!? So inappropriate and you know it._

Blaine would like it, Kurt knew he would.

___That is so not the point!_

Actually Kurt knew exactly what Blaine liked, how he liked it...

___Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!_

He continued pacing, trying to ignore the growing want in his body but it wasn't working and he was getting hard, he looked down at his pants. Oh no.

___You had to touch him, you just had to to put your fingers on him! Now what are you gonna do?!_

He did a facepalm. Tried to will his boner to go down, but it refused. It had been so long since the last time Kurt had been intimate with anyone, even himself. There hadn't been anyone but Blaine and their last time had been in Lima, before he left. That was months ago and it was hard to find the privacy to do the task alone in an apartment with no walls that he shared with someone else. He had gotten himself off a few times when Rachel hadn't been home, but that wasn't often. And now he had his smoking hot ex-boyfriend who he still loved and who he was still very much turned on by, sleeping in his bed. It was all just too much to handle. He had needs. Needs that hadn't been fulfilled in ages and they were begging to be satisfied. Maybe if he just...

___No! You are not jerking off to ____the sight____ of your sleeping ex...with your own father only 5 feet away. What are you thinking!? Have you lost your mind!?_

Kurt knew he wasn't thinking with his brain, he was thinking with a very different head.

___Get it together. Think of something that really turns you off. You can do this._

He somehow managed to pull the image of Burt doing the Single Ladies dance out from his memory and kept replaying it over and over which seemed to do the trick. Thankful he took a deep breath and sighed.

___Close call._

He could hear Burt snore on the couch. Blaine didn't snore. Not even when he was drunk. He didn't drool either. Blaine did everything to perfection, even sleep. Damn it, why did he have to be so fucking perfect? Without even trying!? It wasn't fair. It was then he heard a voice coming from the bed.

"Krt."

It was muffled. But it had sounded like his name. His head snapped in the direction of the bed instantly and then he remembered. Maybe Blaine didn't snore or drool in his sleep, but he did do one thing...talk. Kurt had used to tease him about it.

He knew he shouldn't do it. He knew what he should do was go to Rachel's bed, crawl under the covers and go to sleep. But instead he sneaked closer to Blaine, intrigued. He'd always been fascinated by people who talked in their sleep, Blaine most of all. It was like a direct link to his subconscious mind, some nights when they had shared a bed together he would lie awake and wait for Blaine to go to sleep just so he could hear him say his name. And he did, often. Kurt liked the idea that Blaine was dreaming about him and it hadn't felt creepy to listen in on his dreams when they were a couple. Now it did, but he ignored it.

Kurt sat on the bed again, this time next to him. Blaine stirred slighty and turned his head in his direction. Kurt let himself look. Really look. It felt wrong and yet at the same time right. He stared at Blaine's long eyelashes, his perfectly shaped mouth and knew exactly how it would look smiling. Blaine smiled a lot. Like really, a lot. More than most people. That was one of the reasons Kurt had been so attracted to him in the first place. Blaine had...like...a beam of light inside of him, maybe it was actually his aura shining through from within, lighting him up like a Christmas tree. Kurt had read somewhere that certain people had a very strong aura around them, that those people were extremely charismatic and that description seemed to fit Blaine to a T. His charisma had sucked him in from day one, together with his kindness. Those two qualities had tag-teamed Kurt's heart hard. And together with Blaine's insanely good looks they were the triple threat. He never stood a chance. He knew that now.

"Kurt", Blaine spoke again, this time clearer.

It was definitely his name. Kurt's stomach did a flip and he leaned in closer.

"Blaine", he whispered.

"Kurt...Krt...", the answer came right away and Blaine's hand moved on the bed. Just a few more inches towards where Kurt was sitting, palm up like it was searching. Kurt bit his lower lip, then very carefully placed his own hand on top of Blaine's, palm to palm. Instantly Blaine squeezed it and Kurt returned the squeeze, again very lightly so he wouldn't wake him.

"Kurt...love you...", Blaine's voice was very faint as he turned his whole body in the direction of Kurt, like he could sense him there. The words gave Kurt butterflies and he knew it was wrong, so very wrong. All if it. That he was sitting here right now doing this. That they weren't together. What Blaine had done to him. What he had done to Blaine, what both of them had done to this relationship. Because if he had to be honest, he shared a part of the blame for what had happened.

Blaine had shared his concerns with him even before graduation about long-distance relationships. He had wanted to have the hard conversation, because he had been afraid, it had been in his eyes, maybe because he knew deep down that he couldn't do it and Kurt had just brushed it off, tried to reassure him that everything was going to be fine with some cute reference to The Notebook, that when he came to think of it, Blaine didn't even smile at.

___"So...we are gonna be alright?" _

___"Yes, we are gonna be alright. I told you, I am never saying goodbye to you."_

How wrong they had been, about everything. And it probably hadn't been the conversation Blaine had wanted to have, he realized that now. He also realized that Blaine had had a valid point. Kurt had put his work ahead of his relationship at it's most critical stage without even realizing it at the time. Suddenly all the little things he should have paid closer attention to and all the warning signs became clear.

___"I am not really good at romance. I don't wanna screw this up."_

___"I can't stand to be apart from the person I love."_

___"In a few months, you're going to be gone. With this brand new life, and this brand new friends, this brand new everything, and I'm going to be right here, by myself."_

___"You're right, I have been distant, and I'm sorry. But I'm just, trying to practice what life is going to be like without you. You are the love of my life Kurt, and I am pissed off, that I have to learn that next year, what being alone is going to be like."_

___"This is happening right now, Kurt. It's not some far thing in the future, you are graduating, I'm not. You know how hard long-distance relationships can be."_

___"I really miss you. A lot, okay. I miss talking to you and I miss hugging you and I miss messing around with you."_

___"What am I supposed to do until then? Just hold my breath?"_

All the screened calls, all the phone dates he didn't keep, all the distracted Skype conversations.

___"I needed you and you weren't there. And I was lonely."_

Blaine was right, he had been trying to tell him in his own way that he was struggling, that this was serious, but Kurt had been too pre-occupied with his new life in New York to pick up on it. Not that it gave Blaine the right to do what he did, but it did explain what could have pushed him to do something that was so completely out of character. Because Kurt knew Blaine. And up until that awful talk at the park that night, he would have bet his life on the fact that Blaine would never ever cheat. It just didn't go with everything he knew about him. It was all such a mess and he came to the same conclusion as moments before. It...was...all...wrong. And he didn't know how to fix it. Because he couldn't just take him back. It wasn't that simple, because they were still in two different cities and they now knew that they couldn't do the long-distance thing, so nothing would change, it would only happen again and if it did, Kurt wasn't sure he could survive it. Going through it once was enough. So even if he wanted to get back together with Blaine, he couldn't. And he did. He wanted it...badly. But he couldn't let Blaine know that. All they could be for now and maybe forever...was friends. Just friends.

He tried to imagine a future with Blaine as a friend and both of them together with others, but he couldn't really picture it. He couldn't imagine not being in love with Blaine. And he didn't like the thought of Blaine not being in love with him either.

___You have to at least try to move on. You owe it to yourself. _

Kurt knew his inner voice was right.

He yawned and decided to go to bed...in Rachel's bed. So he let go of Blaine's hand and stood when he noticed that Blaine who had otherwise been sleeping quietly for a while seemed distressed. He started moving around and his face became tense.

"I'm sorry", Blaine whimpered in his sleep. "Kurt...don't go. Don't leave me." He turned on his side and hugged the pillow like he was holding on to someone in his dream. He was having a nightmare. Out of habit Kurt was by his side immediately, stroking his hair gently.

"It's okay", he whispered. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm here."

Kurt then laid down next to him on the bed and nuzzled closer to Blaine before he realized what he was doing and by then it was too late. Blaine threw his arm around him and snuggled into his neck. Kurt held his breath and panicked.

___Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit._

If he tried to leave now, Blaine would surely wake and that would raise a lot of questions Kurt didn't want to answer. If he stayed, Blaine would still wake and find them cuddled up together so staying put didn't solve anything. Maybe if he just...

Kurt very slowly turned on his side and started crawling out to the edge of the bed with Blaine clinging to him, without waking him. He then pulled Blaine's arm gently down around himself until they were spooned up. Now when Blaine woke up he would probably assume that Kurt had gone to sleep on his side of the bed and that it was he who had moved closer during the night and placed himself like that. He had to admit, it felt good to be back in Blaine's arms and he only felt a little bit guilty for how they ended up like that.

He could feel Blaine's breath on his skin, right beneath his ear. He was calm again, his breathing had evened out, his nightmare gone, it seemed. And he smelled so nice. Just like he remembered, a mix of his cologne and raspberry hair gel.

"Kurt...love...", Blaine sighed in his ear and Kurt's emotions exploded in a cascade of rainbows and lollipops that threatened to make his heart burst right out of his chest and Kurt knew he was screwed, that he would probably never stop loving Blaine and right in that moment he was okay with that.

He also knew that there was likely to come a time where he wasn't okay with it, anymore. That someday...loving Blaine but not being with Blaine would just be too hard. That finding someone else to take Blaine's place would probably be his only solution to getting over him.

And he would try to move on, he really would. But not tonight.


	2. A Night of Surrender

Blaine woke up because something was tickling his nose. Barely at the edge of consciousness his foggy mind registered that something was different. The last thing he remembered was lying on his back reading a book, if you could call it reading. Mostly he had just sat there unable to concentrate about anything but Kurt. Kurt, all composed reading Vogue, him turning the pages while the pages of his own reading material stood still. Once in a while Blaine had turned an unread page just so Kurt wouldn't catch on. They hadn't spoken much since they returned to the apartment. Kurt had seemed distant.

Blaine wanted more than anything to have that "heart to heart" talk that Kurt had mentioned on Thanksgiving. He hoped against hope that Kurt's words had meant he wanted reconciliation. That he would get his second chance. But Kurt hadn't made any attempt of conversation since they left the ice skating rink. Actually, now he thought about it, Kurt hadn't started a conversation at all. He'd answered Blaine when asked something directly, he had skated with him, sung with him, even giving him a hug. But actual words had been sparse. And that was unusual because Kurt had never been a quiet person. Usually you couldn't shut him up.

After he'd left Lima he had even gotten worse in that aspect. He would go on and on about Rachel and her adventures at NYADA, about his job and his boss and New York and "OMG Blaine, you wouldn't believe the fashion in this town!" And Blaine loved him for it. Loved his childlike enthusiasm for all of it. It didn't take much to excite Kurt and his energy when he got going was intoxicating. His flame burned with such passion and it was reflected in everything he did. Kurt never did anything half-heartedly. Blaine found it inspiring.

Even something as simple as a funeral for a tiny bird turned into a big ordeal with Kurt. Where others would have probably flushed the dead bird down the toilet or at best thrown it in a cigar case and dumped it in a random hole in the ground, Kurt had taken the time do actually decorate the casket with jewels, pick out the perfect resting place and performed a real ceremony for Pavarotti, even putting a rose on his grave. It had touched Blaine to the core of his heart. Kurt was the most gentle compassionate soul he had ever met.

But now his energy seemed at an all time low. Kurt was troubled. There was no doubt about it and Blaine didn't know if he was allowed to ask him about personal stuff anymore or if that job was reserved for Rachel now? It just saddened him because Kurt had just gotten into NYADA and this should have been the best time of his life. It was his dream come true and Kurt should be beaming. But he wasn't. And Blaine couldn't say anything about it because he wasn't his boyfriend anymore. He couldn't talk to Kurt about his dads cancer, couldn't put his arms around him and make him feel alright again, even though that was all he could think about doing.

What also worried him was Kurt's reaction to his big reveal about wanting to apply to NYADA. Kurt had said he thought it would be great, but it hadn't sounded exactly like that, there had been an edge to his voice. Like he had struggled to get the words out. Blaine had replayed that conversation over and over, but still wasn't sure how to decipher the true meaning behind it and he had realized then that Kurt had closed himself off to him, that he couldn't read him anymore and that maybe it was on purpose.

Maybe Kurt wanted it that way and that meant that he was either still too hurt, still angry or maybe hiding something he didn't want Blaine to find out. It was very frustrating not to know which one it was, torture actually.

Something tickled his nose again and he smelled the scent of something sweet, flowery. Shampoo maybe. The smell was close by. Too close. He realized he was on his side. With something warm pressed up against him.

_That's weird. _

He had his arm around whatever it was and he let it explore.

_Wait a minute. _

His eyes fluttered open, but all he saw was darkness at first. Then the silhouette. It was a person. But not just any person.

_KURT!_

Kurt was sleeping in his arms. His breathing heavy. He was right there next to him. So close. And Blaine was cuddled up against his back with his mouth nuzzled into his neck, he realized that the tickling must have been Kurt's hair.

_He is right there. He is right there. He is right there. It's not a dream!_

The feeling of bliss washing over him in that moment was overwhelming. He had never in a million years thought he would wake up this way last night.

_Wait. Why is he there?_

The question echoed in his mind. Was this just an accident? How could it be? There was plenty of room with Rachel gone for the holidays. They didn't need to share a bed, yet they were? Kurt could have slept somewhere else, but he must have chosen to lie next to him, what did that mean? It was then he realized that it was him who was the big spoon, he was holding Kurt, not the other way around. And suddenly it hit him.

_Just because he slept on the same bed doesn't mean he's okay with cuddling! Let go. _

But Blaine couldn't bring himself to let go. He'd missed this too much.

_Let go. Come on. Just let...oh, forget it._

He knew it wasn't happening. He also knew that he never wanted this moment to end. Kurt moved a little bit and Blaine suddenly became very alert to the fact that he had his whole body flushed up against Kurt's. Every nerve ending in his body became electric. He was also aware that he had his mouth very close to Kurt's neck, that if he just shifted a little bit he would be able to reach the skin with his lips. He shifted, testing the waters. Kurt didn't wake up, he barely moved. Blaine very silently moved his head a little bit further down and pressed his lips lightly to the back of Kurt's neck who in return sighed in his sleep. Blaine froze, but Kurt fell silent again.

_This is wrong, this is crossing a line. You need to stop._

He couldn't stop. It was out of his control. He had been starved of this for so long that his whole being reacted to it like it was a primal need. He had to be as close to Kurt as he could possibly get. He had to savour it while it lasted. He had to just hold him. He wouldn't let it go too far.

_It's already gone too far. You're not together anymore. You don't know if he wants this!_

He ignored the voice, pushing it as far back in his head as he could. It didn't matter. Kurt would never find out about it. It would be his little secret. His own little treasured memory. One he could live of off once he got back to Lima and was all alone again. He decided he wasn't gonna think about home, it filled him with dread. He didn't wanna go back. But in this little piece a heaven he had found only the here and now existed. And right now all he could feel was...happiness.

He kissed Kurt. It was quick, tender, bittersweet. But it was enough that it made Kurt shift in his sleep. He turned all the way over, pushing Blaine onto his back and ended up with his head resting on Blaine's chest. A faint mumble escaped his lips and for a moment Blaine thought he was awake. But Kurt just settled right back down placing his right arm around Blaine's waist like it was second nature. It probably was. It was a natural gesture, they had cuddled like this all the time when they were together. It wouldn't be strange for Kurt to slip back into that familiar pose. Blaine tried to tell himself that there wasn't more to it than that. But still his heart soared at the sight of Kurt clinging to him like he belonged there.

_God, I love him. I love him so much. He is everything._

How did he screw up so badly? How!? How was it possible for him to take something so special, so pure and so real and smash it all to pieces? Kurt was his perfect match. He may have been clueless about it, hadn't recognized it for what it was at the beginning. But once it had dawned on him that he had feelings for Kurt, he had made a move right away. Made him his.

He felt bad for admitted it, but a part of him was happy Pavarotti had died back then. It was the death of that little bird, may he rest in peace, that brought them together in the end. Kurt had sung Blackbird in his honor. Voice firm and smooth, but tears streaming down his face and Blaine had been blown away. He had been so moved that he couldn't even sing, he had just sat there with his hands in his lap, completely enthralled by Kurt. It felt silly calling it a "aha" moment, but that was exactly what it was. A moment of pure clarity where everything had become so obvious. In that moment he had seen what his future with Kurt could be like, it had flashed before his eyes and it had been everything he wanted. But that future looked nothing like this. And it was his fault. He was the one to blame for where they were, not Kurt. He cheated. He did this to them.

_How could I ever hurt him like that? What is wrong with me? _

He didn't know what was wrong. But something was wrong, no doubt about it. Normal people did not just throw away everything they held dear, for a quickie. Not because of a few missed phone dates. Kurt might have been absentminded but that was no excuse for what he had done. He had always known he was flawed even if Kurt never saw him as anything but perfect. But he never knew how flawed until he had found himself sitting on the edge of a strangers bed putting his clothes back on; lost and miserable. He had never felt more ashamed than right in that moment. It was the lowest point of his existence.

_I am lucky he forgave me. That he invited me back into his life. _

He looked down at Kurt with tenderness and placed a hand on his back. Gently he started rubbing tiny circles up and down which made Kurt hug him even tighter. Then suddenly Kurt moaned. It was a silent moan but it had a very unfortunate effect on Blaine and especially his lower regions.

_No...no no no no. This is not happening. Not now, please!_

But it was. His teenage hormones were taking over and he felt flushed from head to toe. There was no stopping it either once it had begun. Especially not with Kurt right there. Blaine was so hard that it was painful and he couldn't move without waking Kurt. How was it possible that he had just gone from heaven to hell in seconds? He tensed up, closed his eyes and tried to think of a solution when suddenly he felt something. Kurt moved and then his eyes opened.

* * *

Kurt knew exactly where he was as soon as he opened his eyes. And this was bad. This was very very very bad. How did he end up on Blaine's chest? Why was he not at the edge of the bed where he belonged?

_Brilliant plan, idiot! You should have made a run for Rachel's bed when you had the chance. Wait...oh God, is he awake? _

He stayed still. Too much of a coward to lift his head and look. Instead he just laid there listening to Blaine's heartbeat. It was beating way too fast.

_Shit! He's awake!_

Kurt had no doubt, the rhythm of Blaine's heart was way too erratic for a sleeping person.

_Am I doing that to his heart? Am I the reason it's beating out of his chest?_

He already knew the answer to that and it turned his insides to jelly. Then he noticed Blaine's pants. He was lying just above his waist with a clear view and it was impossible not to notice the bump. Blaine was hard. And not just a little hard. It was a first class boner. If anyone knew what a first class boner looked like on Blaine, it was Kurt. And now he was getting hard too, just by the sight of it.

_No. Not again! _

How did he turn into this sex crazy monster? Unable to control his urges? He had been so innocent until Blaine came along. Back before a certain bushy haired boy with stunning golden eyes came into his life, Kurt hadn't really been in touch with the sexual side of himself. He hadn't watched porn, couldn't stand it actually. Guess he was too much of a romantic to get turned on my emotion-less sex between strangers. So he had closed himself off to all that. But then suddenly the singing wonderboy entered the picture and then it had been one embarrassing sexual fantasy after another. Blaine kissing him on the stairs, Blaine giving him a blowjob in the library, Blaine making love to him in the shower. That was the reason he had been so painfully uncomfortable talking to him about sex. Because when Kurt had thought about sex, he'd thought about Blaine and he couldn't very well tell him that. He couldn't even look at him back then while talking about sex, afraid his desire would show.

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice snapped him out of it. It was low and desperate, Kurt knew the tone and what it meant. Blaine was horny. He lifted himself up and turned his head to face him.

"Sorry", Kurt said and sat up. "I don't know how I ended up here."

"Don't apologize".

They both sat up straight next to each other on the bed, backs against the wall, none of them looking in the others direction, just staring right ahead. It was awkward. How did it become so awkward between them? Kurt knew he should just stand up, say goodnight to Blaine, walk to Rachel's bed and go to sleep, like nothing weird had happened at all and they would probably never talk about it. It wasn't too late. Nothing serious had happened between them yet, nothing that couldn't be ignored and brushed under the carpet.

The problem was, that Kurt didn't want to sleep. Again he felt himself hyper aware of Blaine and he turned to look at him. Blaine did the same. They locked eyes, faces only inches apart. He could see the want in Blaine, could see how his eyes kept drifting to Kurt's mouth. And Kurt was no better, staring at Blaine's lips. So close. So close. It felt like time stood still, like they had been sitting like that for hours, the want becoming unbearable. But he knew Blaine would never force anything to happen. He was too much of a Dalton gentleman. But Kurt wasn't. And then Blaine licked his lips and Kurt was a goner.

_Fuck it!_

Without warning Kurt lunged at him, he was all over Blaine, lips crushing together, tongues dancing, arms gripping at his clothes, skin, hair. It took a moment for Blaine to react, but then he was responding, taking Kurt's head in his hands, returning his kisses with a passion that took Kurt's breath away. They glided down on the bed, still holding on to each other, kissing, touching, everywhere. Then Blaine pulled away for only a second and looked at him, like he was giving Kurt a chance to back out. Always the gentleman. But Kurt didn't wanna back out, he wanted Blaine all over him. Wanted to get lost in him. He could regret it later and he probably would, but right now all that existed was this craving. This need. For Blaine. For Blaine to touch him. And then he ripped off Blaine's striped shirt in one swift move, thankful that he had decided to ditch the maroon pullover earlier. This was no time for layers.

Blaine's body was perfect; tanned, ripped, smooth. He was just about to dive in when Blaine grabbed him by the scarf and pushed him down on the bed, placing himself above him. Then suddenly the scarf vanished, along with the blue pullover he'd been wearing. Before he knew it the brown shirt was gone too and Blaine had him completely shirtless. And he was looking down at him with an expression of...love. Time once more stood still as they looked at each other. And then they were at it again, pulling off pants, trying to be quiet so they wouldn't wake Burt. Only in their underwear now, they glided under the covers where they continued to get naked. Blaine had his hand on Kurt's cock and he was stroking it gently up and down, which drove Kurt crazy.

"Blaine...fuck!", he moaned.

"You are so fucking hot, Kurt. I just wanna...", the look in Blaine eyes were wild with desire.

"You want to do what?" Kurt asked, teasing. He already knew. It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

"I want to fuck you so hard."

"Then do it." He pulled Blaine down on top of him, chest against chest, skin against skin and whispered: "I want you to fuck me, I want you to fuck me so badly."

In seconds he was on his side with Blaine's hands spreading his cheeks. And then he pushed in, one finger, two fingers, three fingers and it felt so good.

"Oh God, Blaine. Yes, yes!" He mumbled into a pillow, still trying to keep the noise down.

"I've missed this so much, Kurt." Blaine panted in his ear.

And then there were no words, just soft panting and quiet moaning as Blaine worked him open. At the same time Kurt reached behind to grab Blaine's cock and stroke it ready. They didn't spend much time like that, both too eager to get on with it, to become one. Blaine found a condom in his pants and rolled in on and Kurt wondered for a brief moment if Blaine had expected this to happen?

"Lube?" Blaine asked.

"No lube, just do it."

"You sure? I don't wanna hurt you?"

"You won't. I just wanna feel you inside me, please Blaine".

That was all the invitation Blaine needed. He lined up his cock perfectly, pushed in and the burn, though intense, felt amazing. Fireworks went off. He was literally seeing stars as Blaine kept pounding into him, again and again while moaning profanities in his ear.

"Harder, Blaine. Harder". Kurt begged and Blaine did as he was told. He was hitting Kurt's prostate perfectly with each thrust and Kurt felt his orgasm build. He tried to hold on as long as he could, but it had been such a long time and he wanted to come, wanted to give in to it.

"Oh God, Oh God. Bla...ine." Without warning his orgasm shot through him and he muffled a loud moan into the pillow. Blaine wasn't far behind.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" He moaned and then he collapsed all sweaty and hot on the bed next to Kurt, arms around him. They stayed like that for a while. None of them saying anything, none of them knowing what to say.

"I love you", Blaine suddenly whispered.

"I love you too", Kurt whispered back and it was the truth. The painful truth.

Not another word was said. Only the sound of their heavy breathing and Burt's snoring filled the room. It wasn't until the first light of day came in through the windows that Blaine let go of him, climbed out of bed, gathered his clothes and with one last look at Kurt disappeared in the direction of Rachel's bed, giving both of them some privacy to process what had just happened.


	3. A Morning of Regret

He had left the bed for two reasons. And none of them had anything to do with him wanting to let go of Kurt. He had left because 1. Burt could not find them curled up together in the morning, without it raising too many questions, not to mention being awkward and 2. He needed time to think and he couldn't do that with Kurt anywhere near him. His ability to think clearly disappeared as soon as Kurt was in his vicinity. It was like being drugged. The sight of Kurt, the smell of Kurt, the sound of Kurt...it clouded his mind and made him unable to make rational decisions. What had just transpired proved that.

Walking away from Kurt had been one of the hardest things he had ever done. It had felt like being trapped a 100 feet under water and then being forced to let go of the oxygen tank. He had turned to look at Kurt one last time and it had been almost impossible to leave. But he'd done it. He had walked to Rachel's cold bed, crawled under the covers and cried. Drowned in his own tears, silently. He hadn't slept, he couldn't. He had just laid there in the soft light of the breaking dawn with a million thoughts running through his head.

_What just happened? Why had it happened? What did it mean?_

He knew they weren't back together. That had not been make-up sex. He knew what make-up sex with Kurt felt like. After...he almost couldn't think his name...Chandler...and the biggest fight they had ever had, well...up until their break-up...they had had the most mind-blowing sex. Kurt on his back, his legs above his head and Blaine on top (he usually topped)...face to face, locking eyes the entire time, declarations of love being whispered in between the moaning and panting. It had been so passionate and tender at the same time. They had connected on every level and Blaine had felt all lovey dovey for days after.

But the sex he had just had with Kurt had been nothing like that. Kurt hadn't even faced him. He had turned his back to him, only letting Blaine take him from behind so he couldn't see his face. And then he realized why it upset him so much. It had felt a bit like anonymous sex, like...with Eli. Quick, non personal. More like a need that needed to be fulfilled, than love. The way Kurt had jumped his bones did nothing to convince him otherwise. Kurt had felt so desperate in his hands, it had felt so urgent and then it had been over, almost before it had begun. Almost like Kurt had just tried to get off as fast as possible, had he even enjoyed it? Had he even cared who he was doing it with? Or had he just been so sexually frustrated after not getting anything in months, that he'd taken advantage of the situation? Blaine suddenly felt used. And absolutely worthless. He started crying again and buried his head in the pillow.

_How could you be so stupid? To think he wanted anything else from you? Didn't he make it perfectly clear how he felt about you the last time he came home? _

_"Relationships are about trust. And I don't trust you anymore."_

Blaine struggled to silence his tears but he was full on sobbing now. Nothing had changed. Kurt didn't want him back. He had just had a moment of weakness and fallen victim to primal urges and Blaine had just happened to be there. They had not been making love. To Kurt, he had probably just been a quick fuck. It had been nothing more than that. Nothing more than what Blaine had done with Eli. A cold sexual act, stripped of emotion. He felt so empty. Like he had this big black hole inside of him where Kurt belonged...that he could never ever fill. He curled himself up like a ball and let the endless void swallow him whole.

* * *

Kurt tossed and turned. Despite his body being more relaxed than it had been in months, he felt tense. His mind wouldn't stop racing. He had just had sex with Blaine. With his dad only a few feet away. How did that happen? He had never thought himself capable of something so risky, but the want had overpowered any fear of getting caught in the act. He simply hadn't cared. All he was focused on in that moment was Blaine, the boy he loved so much. This boy who had been inside of him, filling him up, just a short while ago. He missed the sensation. He missed him. More than ever before. Finally getting laid had released a lot of sexual tension, but he still felt trapped inside his own head. It was holding him hostage with thoughts of Blaine. Blaine, Blaine, Blaine. Blaine this and Blaine that. It just wouldn't shut up and it was becoming more than annoying. He edged closer to Blaine's side of the bed.

_Blaine's side? Since when did he have a side? Only boyfriends and husbands have sides._

Kurt was confused more than ever. Blaine was in Rachel's bed now, where he belonged in the first place. Somewhere over on the other side of the apartment, in the darkness...shielded from view. But in his heart it didn't feel right. He longed for Blaine's touch. Longed for him to hold him like he had always done, after sex. He realized that this was the first time ever that they hadn't slept together after actually sleeping together. It didn't sit right with him, it felt wrong. Lovers slept together, they cuddled up in each others arms afterwards, like in the movies. They didn't sneak out in the middle of the night. But casual sex partners did. Oh my God. Had he just had a hook-up? The type of sex he hated? Suddenly the moment felt cheap. And then he remembered.

_Why did Blaine have a condom? _

Kurt didn't carry condoms around like it was no big deal. But apparently Blaine did. Had he planned for this to happen? Did he bring condoms everywhere, did Blaine hook up every chance he got now?

_No. Of course not!_

Kurt had let his imagination run wild. Blaine wouldn't do that. Deep down Blaine was a romantic like him. Maybe he had just been hopefully prepaired? Kurt couldn't really blame him for that. After all it was he who told him that they needed a "mature heart to heart", which could mean "getting back together", if one took it the hopeful way. Which he was sure Blaine had. The thing is, when he'd said that he didn't really know what he meant by it. What he would actually say or do. He did know though, that this had not been what he meant. He had not planned on ending up in bed with Blaine. But it was too late now to do anything about that. He didn't have a time machine, he couldn't change it. And he wasn't sure he wanted to, even if he could.

_What did that mean? Of course he wanted to change it. Sleeping with Blaine was a mistake...wasn't it?_

He grabbed the pillow on the side of the bed that was...

_Not Blaine's...not Blaine's...totally not Blaine's...nope..._

And sniffed it. And there it was, the scent of Blaine. Calvin Klain's Eternity cologne alongside Raspberry hair gel from L'Oreal. The flowery smell of jasmine, lavender and rosewood mixed up with the fruity scent of raspberry thrilled his nose. It smelled like...summer. Which suited Blaine extremely well because whenever he smiled that irresistable smile of his, he was like a ray of sunshine. Kurt buried his face in it and took another whiff.

_I am never washing this pillow..._

Then he heard something. A very faint sound. What was that? He couldn't identify it at first, it was so low. He closed his eyes and strained his ears, trying to figure it out? He could swear it sounded like...someone crying? But it couldn't be? He sat right up, it had to be something else. He looked over at his dad, who was still snoring soundly. Burt could sleep though World War 3. He had that in common with Blaine. Plus a strange interest in sports, literally any sport that included a ball, that Kurt would never understand.

Then there was the sound again and this time Kurt was able to nail the location down. It was coming from Rachel's side of the apartment. His eyes drifted to Rachel's bed. He could barely make out a figure curled up like a ball. Blaine.

_Is he...crying?!_

Kurt climbed out of bed and began moving towards him, silently. He had to be sure. When he was about 2 feet away he knew Blaine was crying. His body and his face was under the covers, but his whole body was shaking like he was trying to hold it back.

_Why is he crying? Did I cause this?_

Something inside of Kurt broke. Something vital. He couldn't take it. He wanted to reach out, to ask him what was wrong, to comfort him. But something stopped him. Fear. Fear of what he wasn't sure.

_I shouldn't have done it. I should have gone right to sleep. Then none of this would have happened._

Blaine wouldn't be sad, Kurt wouldn't be so torn, they both would have carried on and ignored the giant elephant in the room. The elephant that was now a whale. Suddenly he regretted everything. Why did his dad have to bring him here? They had only just started communicating again, a face to face confrontation had been too soon, he knew that now.

_I should have sent him home._

Even as he thought it, he knew he never could have. There was no way he would have found the strength to return the ray of sunshine beaming at him with such eagerness at that ice skating rink. Just like there was no way he could have refused him when he asked for a song.

_White Christmas._

Something had almost happened on the ice. That should have been his first clue that Blaine being there wasn't the best idea. They had been skating, shamelessly flirting with each other. It just came naturally. Like it always had. Before they were together, while they were together, after they were together. The flirting did not end. The chemistry did not vanish. The attraction did not lessen. The love did not die.

Blaine had leaned in. Slowly. And even if Kurt would deny it to the day he died, he would probably had let Blaine kiss him. For a moment there he had been sure Blaine was going to go for it. But he hadn't. He had skated away in the last second. Probably cold feet.

_"No matter what, no matter where, even if we're not together. We'll always be there for each other."_

Even if. Those were the key words there. Even if. Blaine had definitely had hope. Hope that had now died by the sound of the sniffles coming from the bed. But what could he do? What could he possibly say to make Blaine feel alright again? He couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear. He couldn't get back together with him. For reasons that were obvious. There were trust issues, big honking trust issues, not to mention the distance issue that had been there all along. It was just too much to deal with. Even if they loved each other.

Kurt sent one last look in Blaine's direction, fought the urge to climb in next to him and went back to his own bed where he fell asleep hugging the fruity/flower pillow that was...not Blaine's.

* * *

At some point in time he must have drifted off, because when he opened his eyes, it was morning. Blaine sat up and threw his bare feet over the bed. The floor was chilly. He put on some socks and quietly moved towards the bathroom. He passed the couch where Burt hadn't moved an inch since last night. Blaine found it extraordinary. Burt slept even deeper than he did. Then...against any common sense he walked over to Kurt's bed and paused there for a while, looking at his ex. Kurt was sleeping on his stomach, head buried in a pillow. He was flawless. So flawless and completely knocked out by the looks of it. Blaine sat by his side looking at the rise and fall of Kurt's chest, but didn't linger long.

He went to the bathroom and almost had a heart attack when he saw his own reflection. He looked haggered. Eyes red and puffy. Hair a mess. He turned on the cold water and splashed some on his face.

"Morning, Merry Christmas".

Blaine jumped and spun around. Kurt was standing in the doorway wearing jeans but otherwise shirtless and Blaine realized he was only in his boxers and...socks. He felt exposed.

"Kurt...wow, Merry Christmas...you scared me." He turned off the water and grabbed a towel to dry his face and place it inconspicuously in front of his body shielding it from Kurt's view.

"Then we're even." Kurt said with a coy smile.

"Huh?" Blaine didn't get it.

"Our first Christmas at Dalton. You wanted to sing Baby, it's Cold Outside."

Realisation dawned on Blaine.

"Wow, I can't believe you remember that."

"I probably remember more than you think." He smiled knowingly.

Kurt was acting like nothing had happened last night. He was all chipper. It freaked Blaine out quite a lot. But he decided to go along with it, because he really didn't feel like having "the talk" in the bathroom while Burt was in the next room. Maybe Kurt felt the same way. It didn't explain his bizarre behavior though.

"What time is it?" Blaine asked and put on his best fake smile.

"About 7:30 am. You want breakfast?"

"Sure."

"Pancakes?"

"That would be great."

Kurt just smiled at him again and Blaine felt weirded out by it. This wasn't natural. He shouldn't be acting like this. The Kurt he knew would not put on this charade to avoid talking about real issues. He was usually so direct. Like once upon a Valentines Day.

_"Okay, can I ask you something? Because we have always been completely honest with each other. You and I. We hang out, we sing flirty duets together, you know my coffee order. Was I supposed to think that that was nothing?"_

Blaine preferred the bold straightforwardness to this...act. But it was clear Kurt wasn't ready to talk.

They exited the bathroom together and Blaine went to get dressed while Kurt vanished into the kitchen area. As he was putting on his shirt he heard Burt wake up, he and Kurt were doing their thing. The father/son thing that most sons took for granted, but not Kurt. No. Kurt knew exactly how lucky he was to have Burt. When Blaine smelled the sweet aroma of coffee he decided to join them to get a cup.

"Morning Blaine and Merry Christmas", Burt said. "Get a good nights sleep?"

"Morning. Thank you, Merry Christmas to you too. Um yeah...sure...slept like a baby..." Blaine shot Kurt a knowing look that went completely ignored. Then he sat down at the table to watch him move around. Something about Kurt's movements were wrong. He moved too fast, he talked too fast, ate too fast, drank too fast.

_He's nervous!_

More nervous than Blaine had ever seen him before. And this cheerful facade was just a cover. Unfortunately for Kurt...Blaine knew him too well. As they ate he tried to make eye contact with Kurt, tried to send him the "we should talk" looks, to get through to him in any way he could but failing miserably. And he was growing really tried of this "game". Then suddenly Burt made a sound like he had just remembered something.

"Crap, I forgot one of your presents Kurt. I'll just go pick it up."

Kurt's expression changed instantly, he looked panicked.

"No!", he yelled a little too loudly and Burt raised an eyebrow. "Um, I mean...no. You don't have to do that. It's not necessary, dad."

"What are you talking about? Of course it is. I'll be half an hour, tops." Burt stood up to leave and Blaine just sat there, shocked.

_Is he trying to keep his dad here so he won't have to talk to me?!_

"Well dad, why don't you take Blaine with you, then? He can help you carry the present".

"It's not that big of a present, what is up with you today, Kurt?" Burt laughed and Blaine sent Kurt his "Are you fucking kidding me?!" look, that Kurt pretended not to see.

As Burt put on his jacket Kurt looked like he had accepted defeat, then the door slammed and the apartment went too quiet. Suddenly Blaine regretted not going with Burt. From the look on Kurt's face he would bet his right arm, that he too was contemplating running out to catch Burt, before he made it to the street. None of them said anything.


	4. A Talk of Emotion

Kurt just stood there shifting nervously from one leg to the other. Blaine was still at the table, mug in hand. He took a sip. Then another. He looked at Kurt and saw...something close to the face Kurt had made that one time back before they got together, where Blaine had made him practice sexy faces in the mirror.

_"That's because the face I am actually doing is uncomfortable."_

Blaine didn't want to make him uncomfortable, he really didn't but they had to talk about this and Burt wouldn't be gone for long. He had to make the most of the time he had, to get his answers.

"Kurt...", he began but was interrupted.

"Blaine, can we not do this right now? Please?", Kurt sighed. He had this begging puppy expression in his eyes as he nervously ran his fingers through his hair, but Blaine pushed on.

"We have to talk about what happened, Kurt."

"Why? Why do we have to talk about it, can't we just...not talk?". Kurt turned his back to him just like he had done the night before and looked out the window. The sight both hurt and angered Blaine.

_He doesn't want to talk to me because it didn't mean anything to him, not a damn thing._

Blaine could feel something powerful, a ball of emotion build up inside of him. It was as he'd thought, he had been used. And then he exploded.

"WHY?! BECAUSE WE SLEPT TOGETHER KURT! BECAUSE IT MATTERS TO ME!" He hadn't meant to raise his voice but he was frustrated beyond belief. Kurt spun around looking startled and leaned against the counter staring at him, first taken aback by Blaine's outburst, but then the surprise changed to rage.

"Oh, so NOW it matters to you who you sleep with!" He retorted. "How convenient!"

It was like being mentally slapped. And it hurt like hell. Blaine hadn't expected it to go like this. He didn't think Kurt would go there, but obviously he was still carrying a lot of anger around. The calm composed Kurt he had met yesterday at the ice skating rink was gone. The same was the persona he had put on this morning. Instead he was looking at an erupting volcano. And it scared him.

"WHERE WAS THAT INTEREST THE DAY YOU FUCKED SOMEONE ELSE, BLAINE?!" Kurt continued. "WHY DIDN'T IT MATTER THEN?! CAN YOU TELL ME THAT?!" He screamed as he picked up the nearest glass and smashed it against the floor. The pieces went flying everywhere along with the orange juice that had been in it and the sound echoed too loudly in the big apartment. Kurt was on the floor immediately cursing at himself.

"Shit! Rachel's china! She's gonna kill me! It's a set, she will know! So stupid!" Kurt was muttering under his breath to himself as he started picking up the sharp pieces with his bare hands, too fast. Blaine wanted to tell him to take it easy before he cut himself, but he was too late.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Kurt suddenly whined and grabbed his right hand where drops of blood were now seeping through his fingers. Blaine rushed to his side.

"KURT! Are you okay?! Let me see!" He begged and tried to take his hand.

"Like you care!" Kurt barked back at him. "Don't touch me!"

Blaine did as he requested and backed away from him.

"Kurt...", Blaine had never seen him like this before. He had seen him angry, but nothing like this. "Of course I care...", he said sounding shocked. "Please, let me help you."

Kurt looked at him in that moment and when Blaine saw tears in his eyes he didn't know if it was from anger or pain. It was probably a bit of both. Blaine took a dishcloth and tried handing it to him. Kurt snapped it out of his hands angrily and wrapped his cut finger in it, before he glided to the floor, pulled his knees up against himself and hugged them. He then leaned his head against them as his bloody finger coloured the cloth red, and went completely silent.

Blaine bent down next to him, but kept his distance and started cleaning up, he carefully picked up each shard and wiped up the juice. All the while wondering if the eruption was over. When he was done he sat down next to Kurt who hadn't moved at all.

"Kurt?" He tried again...searching for words and could only come up with two. "I'm sorry."

That seemed to open the floodgates, because Kurt started sobbing uncontrollably and Blaine felt his heart break. The sound of Kurt crying killed him inside. Especially knowing he was the reason.

"I don't know how to do this." Kurt suddenly said. "I don't know how to cope."

He sounded totally defeated, like he had just given up. All the anger gone. And Blaine put a hand on his shoulder with some apprehension, afraid Kurt would push him away again, but he didn't.

"I am destined to lose everyone I love". He sniffled and Blaine couldn't stand it.

"No, you're not." He objected. "Why do you say such a thing?"

"My mom died, my dad has cancer and might die...and you...", he paused. "You left me."

"No...I...", Blaine could feel the tears coming now, but kept them at bay, this was about Kurt, not him. "Kurt, I didn't leave you...I just...I made a mistake...one I regret more than you will ever know." Kurt turned to look at him, but Blaine looked away, couldn't face him.

"Why?", Kurt asked. "What happened? I thought we were solid?".

"So did I...I honestly don't know how to explain it Kurt...", Blaine sighed.

"Please try, I need to know why, Blaine." Kurt was practically begging him and Blaine took a deep breath trying to find a way for it all to make sense.

"I...I guess I felt...abandoned...by you." Kurt stiffened beside him right away and Blaine quickly continued. "I am not trying to pin the blame on you. I am just telling you how I felt." He forced himself to look at Kurt and his hazel eyes were met by a pair of sad grey ones, rims red from crying, but alert to everything he was saying, so he carried on.

"You were so busy with work, it was like you didn't have time for me anymore. Like you were moving on, like I didn't matter. And I tried to tell you how I felt, but couldn't find the right words. I just felt so lost and I didn't have anyone at McKinley to talk to about it...", Blaine hesitated before continuing but Kurt sent him a look of encouragement as if to say "go on", so he did.

"And then...he...came along." It was barely beyond a whisper. "And he paid attention to me and it felt good, but I didn't plan for it to happen, Kurt. You have to believe me. I didn't. Things just got out of hand". Blaine knew how desperate he sounded. "I never meant for any of this to happen, Kurt. I swear. But it's no excuse. I was weak. I let you down, I hurt you. I screwed everything up. But I still love you more than anything in this world. And I am sorry, so sorry." He buried his head in his hands and secretly wiped away a few tears he hadn't been able to keep in.

Kurt had sat quietly, just listening. Suddenly Blaine felt a hand on his arm. It was the first time Kurt had touched him since last night.

* * *

Kurt took the words that were coming from Blaine to heart. Analysed them. Really listened to what he said. And how he said it. There was no doubt in Kurt's mind that Blaine was truly remorseful for what he had done. He could tell just by the sound of his voice that he was close to breaking down.

As he'd listened to Blaine explain, a lot of things had dawned on him. Things he hadn't thought about before. Actions he had taken or more importantly not taken, choices he had made that had turned out to be the wrong ones, priorities that had been all over the place. And he knew he shared some of the responsibility. He also knew that if he didn't own up to that, then he and Blaine would never be able to heal and move forward together. And suddenly his dads words sounded in his head.

_"You got to hold the people you love close to you no matter what."_

"I owe you an apology", Kurt said out of the blue.

"What?" Blaine looked up surprised. Did he hear that right? He stared at Kurt bewildered.

"You're right. I did get swallowed up by work. I guess I in a way checked out on us, I see that now. I had this false sense of security, I think. I believed we would be just fine. And I stopped working on it. Not intentionally, of course. It just kinda happened gradually before I realized what was going on. I regret that. And I'm sorry."

Kurt fell silent for moment before he turned to him again.

"But Blaine, you should have told me. You should have come to me, instead of turning to someone else."

"I know", Blaine nodded. "Believe me, I know."

They had somehow drifted closer to each other as they talked and was now sitting shoulder to shoulder. None of them said anything for a few moments, both thinking, when Blaine knew he had to bring it up.

"Look, Kurt. About last night", he began. "I know it probably didn't mean anything to you, that you were sexually frustrated and I was just a means to and end, but...".

"What in the world are you talking about?", Kurt asked perplexed.

"I know I was just a hook-up. You don't have to lie to me." Blaine looked away, the hurt clear in his eyes.

"A hook-up? You think I slept with you, just because I was horny?" Kurt stared at him, mouth open. "Wait, was that why you were crying?"

Blaine froze and looked away but didn't say anything, he was too embarrassed.

_He heard me. I can't believe this. _

The expression in Kurt's eyes turned soft and his hand found it's way to Blaine's cheek. He gently turned his head and made eye contact. His eyes were a little bit bluer now than before.

"Blaine, how long have you known me?", he asked. "Do you really think that I could ever casually hook up with anyone? I thought you knew me better than that? I am the guy who doesn't even like porn, remember?" The look in his eyes were so sincere.

"But you turned your back to me, you rushed through it, I thought you just wanted it over with." Blaine's voice were shaking, he couldn't help it. The tears were threatening to run over again.

"Blaine, I turned my back to you so I could muffle the sounds I knew I was about to make down into a pillow. You know how loud I am and my dad was right next to us, I couldn't just scream at the top of my lungs, now could I? And I didn't rush anything...I hadn't been with anyone for so long...my stamina was...well, you were there, you know." Kurt smiled, a little embarrassed.

"Oh...", was all Blaine could get out at first. "So, you wanted me, really wanted me?"

Kurt shook his head a little in disbelief. He couldn't believe Blaine really didn't know.

"I'll always want you...don't you get it? I slept with you because I love you. Not because I just wanted to get laid." Kurt wasn't sure he should admit to more but he did anyway. "Even after what you did, I still love you." He looked at Blaine who stared right back.

"I love you too", Blaine said, but then he sighed heavily. "We are not getting back together, are we?"

"No." Kurt's voice was sad. "I just can't Blaine."

"I understand, you don't need to explain." The acceptance deep in Blaine voice. Then he continued. "So...best friends?"

"Best friends", Kurt echoed.

_For now_, Kurt thought.

_For now_, Blaine thought.

They sent each other a look that none of them could decipher. Then Kurt stood and Blaine followed.

"How's you hand?", he asked.

"I don't think it's that bad", Kurt said.

"Let me see."

"Okay".

Blaine carefully took Kurt's wrapped hand and gently removed the fabric. It was pretty stained, but Blaine could see that it was a superficial cut. No stitches required. He turned on the cold water and placed Kurt's hand in the sink to wash it. It stung and Kurt twitched a bit.

"Does it hurt?", Blaine asked.

"Nothing I can't handle."

He handed Kurt a towel to dry off and went to the bathroom where he returned moments later with a pink kids band-aid.

"Unicorns? Really Blaine?" Kurt questioned.

"Hey, don't look at me, it's not my house." Blaine smiled. "And don't pretend you don't love it", he smirked.

"Yeah, you're right. I do", Kurt surrendered. "After all, when it comes down to it, I am the biggest unicorn of them all and you know what, I am proud of that". They both laughed and Blaine loved it. The tension was gone. They seemed alright. Or as alright as they could be given the situation. Blaine placed the band-aid on Kurt's finger and rolled it all the way around. It wasn't until he looked up that he saw Kurt staring at him intently and the time warp hit again.

Everything stood still for seconds? Minutes? Hours? Then the doorbell rang and they were both pulled back to reality.

"That's probably my dad", Kurt said...reclaiming his finger.

"I'll go let him in, you take care of the bloody cloth. We wouldn't want Burt to find it and think someone died in here", Blaine winked.

"I did not bleed that much", Kurt argued but there was a twinkle in his eye and Blaine giggled on his way to the door.

* * *

Burt could hear the boys from outside the door. He had arrived just in time to hear something about unicorns that he didn't get, but apparently was very funny judging by the laughs and giggles coming from the apartment. He smiled. They were getting along, finally. After the silence last night he had been worried. Worried that it had been a mistake to bring Blaine here. But now he knew he had made the right call.

He knew all about what had happened between them, Kurt had told him everything. He was so thankful that he had a son like Kurt. So kind and open and willing to share his life with his father. He was not like most teenagers, Burt knew he was lucky. Kurt never gave him any grief. Kurt was an easy kid. Not like some of the demon spawn his friends had. The stories he heard. Jesus. Burt was sure the reason for this was that Kurt was so much like his mother, Elizabeth. He got his gentle nature from her. Along with his complexion and build. The stubbornness however he got from Burt and he hoped that somehow his advice could rub off on him too. That they would stick.

And as he listened in on the boys he knew Kurt had taken his advice to heart.

He was glad that his son had Blaine. Despite everything, Blaine had always been there for Kurt, right from the beginning, looking out for him, protected him. Whether it was by giving advice, standing up to bullies or saving him from humiliation at Prom (Kurt really did tell him everything), Blaine had stuck by Kurt and Burt would always be thankful to him for that, no matter what he had done since. After all, everyone makes mistakes, especially when they were young. And if Kurt could forgive, then so could Burt. Besides, there was something about that kid. And his son. Something about the two of them together. Burt had a feeling Blaine would stick around for a long time.


	5. A Christmas to Remember

Burt barged through the door, the scent of New York trailing after him as he threw his snow soaked jacket messy on the couch and kicked off his boots randomly, not caring where they landed. Kurt followed in his tracks like it was second nature (and it was), picking up the jacket and placing it neatly on the heater for it to dry faster, then scooping up the boots before placing them properly on the doormat by the door, so the snow wouldn't damage the wooden floors.

_He is such a housewife_, Blaine thought. _It's cute_.

"Did I hear something about blood and a murder taking place?" Burt smirked.

"Don't be silly dad. I just cut myself on a piece of glass, no big deal." Kurt said giving him a hug.

"Oh good, because you know what they do to pretty boys like you in jail." Burt teased. "Oh wait, I guess that would be right up your alley." Burt winked at Blaine behind Kurt's back waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

"DAD! I can not believe you just said that!" Kurt turned red in the face while Burt laughed slapping his knees and Blaine collapsed on the bed giggling like a child, holding his stomach as the loud guffaws escaped his lips.

"And you!" He pointed to Blaine. "You should not think this is funny."

Blaine sat on the bed trying to look innocent. "Sorry Kurt, but..." He turned to Burt before continuing. "Your dad is just the coolest dad on the planet".

"Thank you, Blaine." Burt patted him on the back and Kurt rolled his eyes at the obvious camaraderie. How did they become such good buddies? _Sports_. Kurt sighed. The fastest and easiest way for two men to bond. And apparently his dad and his ex seemed to have formed some sort of relationship built entirely on their shared love of the Cincinnati Bengals and the Cleveland Cavaliers. He had no idea what kinds of sport teams they were, nor did he care. All he knew was that they were both resident Ohio teams.

"So boys." Burt said. "Isn't it about time we exchanged presents?"

"Totally." Blaine agreed.

Kurt looked at Blaine, excitement brewing in the eyes under the curls. Obviously, with all the drama unfolding this morning Blaine hadn't had time to gel and Kurt liked it. He liked how Blaine's hair somehow became longer when it wasn't on lock down on his head. Liked how one could really grab it when it was like that.

_Pull it and play with it and..._, he trailed off in his own head before stopping himself. Then without knowing why he smiled at Blaine and Blaine smiled back, teeth shining bright. Then it suddenly hit him. He hadn't done his moisterizing routine this morning and his skin was so sensitive.

"Hold on to that thought and I will be right back." Kurt said apologetically and vanished into the bathroom. "Why don't you set up the presents around the tree?" Was the last thing they heard before the door slammed shut.

"What was that about?" Burt frowned.

"Skin care." Blaine simply smiled, knowingly. "He will be exactly 10 minutes and 30 seconds...45, if he decides to apply the tonic too. But I doubt it."

"You sure seem to know my son really well." Burt raised an eyebrow and Blaine blushed a little.

"Yeah...yeah, I do." Blaine didn't look directly at Burt when he said it, afraid the depths of his affection for Kurt would show. But it was all in the tone of his voice and Burt knew. He didn't say anything though. Instead he just observed as Blaine went to his bag and started going through it, clearly searching for something. Presents, probably.

_That boy really loves my son_. Burt thought. _And he's a good kid_.

Burt went to find his own presents all the while watching Blaine, trying to figure him out. Where did he come from? Westerville in Ohio, sure. He knew that much. But what was his back story? He knew that Kurt had never met Blaine's parents, which was weird since Blaine was hanging out with him and Carol all the time. Now he came to think of it, Blaine was around the house too much sometimes, like he didn't want to go home, like he didn't have a home, not that he minded having Blaine around, since he was always nice company, so polite and sweet, Carol adored him and Burt had to admit that he really liked him too. Blaine was a likeable guy. But he suddenly realized that he knew almost nothing about him, which meant that Kurt didn't either. Except for letting Kurt meet his brother Cooper, Blaine obviously hadn't shared much about his past with him, except for the bullying and the...bashing. Burt shuddered at the thought, especially knowing that it could also happen to Kurt one day. But other than that, Blaine was a mystery.

Burt placed a few presents under the tree and sat down in a chair beside it, waiting for Blaine to find his and for his son to come out from the bathroom. A few moments later Blaine joined him, placing a single tiny package under the tree with some hesitation. Blaine looked at it for just a little too long like he was debating whether to remove it again. But in his mind he obviously decided to leave it as he sat down leaning back into the couch, then he looked at his watch, smiling that knowing smile of his again. And Burt just knew that smile had something to do with Kurt. Blaine let his head fall back so he could stare at the ceiling. Burt decided to solve the mystery.

"So Blaine." He started.

"Yeah?" Blaine looked at him right away.

"What did you parents say to you spending Christmas with us?" Burt asked curiously. He had never really thought about that question before he had asked Blaine to come to New York for the holidays. Maybe because it had always seemed like Blaine was some sort of orphan. Burt had completely forgotten Blaine actually had a family of his own. And with that in mind, it occurred to him that his request had been really selfish.

"Oh...they are fine with it." Blaine said but he'd tensed up, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Really? I don't get that?" Burt said. "If Kurt didn't want to spend Christmas with me, I would be upset. I mean, he is my kid and I love him and Christmas is about family."

"Yeah well...my parents are not like that." A look of sadness washed over Blaine and Burt suddenly knew why Kurt sometimes referred to Blaine as "the puppy".

"Hey Blaine. Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Just making conversation."

"It's alright Burt, you didn't upset me." That was a lie. "I'm used to it being this way, them being this way..." Blaine tried to reassure Burt.

"And what way is that?" Burt pressed on wondering if Blaine would answer. He did.

"Them not being there for me...being too busy with their own lives to take care of their kids, of my brother and me. I don't even think they wanted kids to be honest. I was pretty much raised by babysitters. Work, fundraisers and travelling always came first." Blaine sighed deeply. "I see them, maybe...six times a year. They are actually in Paris at the moment, have been for about three weeks, so I was gonna spend Christmas alone anyway, if you hadn't invited me here."

Burt listened, shocked. He couldn't believe there were parents like that, it angered him. But it sure did explain a lot about Blaine and why he was the way he was.

"What about your brother?" Burt stammered, not sure what to say. "Cooper, was it?"

"Yeah...Cooper. He is living in LA, but he's got his own life to attend to. He stops by now and then but he doesn't really have time for me either."

"I am so sorry to hear that, Blaine." Burt said feeling as sad as Blaine looked.

"Oh, don't be...it's okay, it just how things are".

"It's not okay Blaine, no kid should be left alone to fend for himself, without any support...or guidance...or...love." Burt insisted and Blaine's eyes turned misty at the last word, but he didn't agree or disagree. Instead he just continued talking, almost randomly lost in his own thoughts.

"You know. They never came to see any of my performances. Not once. Not when I was little in school plays, not when I was with the Warblers or The New Directions. Not even when I was the lead in the school musical."

Burt could tell that Blaine had clearly been hurt by that the most. His family not being there for those special moments. Especially with performing being so important to him. The kid suddenly looked at him.

"You have actually been there to see me more than my own flesh and blood. They don't like that I am gay, I am such a disappointment to them." Blaine laughed sadly at the tragedy of it all. "I don't even think they are gonna show up at my graduation." He buried his face in his hands and Burt moved over on the couch next to him.

"Now you look at me, kid." Burt said sternly and Blaine looked up. "I don't care what your parents say or do, I will be there to cheer you on when you graduate. And so will Carol. And Kurt. I can promise you that."

"Thanks. But you don't have to do that, Burt. I don't wanna be a burden, I am not even dating Kurt anymore."

"Don't be stupid, Blaine. Carol and I love you, so does Kurt. You mean a lot to all of us, especially after all you have done for my boy. The whole Hummel-Hudson family will be there because you are a part of this family now. Whether you're with Kurt or not. You hear me? We will be there."

"Thanks. I don't even know what to say." Blaine smiled thankfully and Burt gave him a hug. "You are a pretty amazing guy Burt, it's no wonder Kurt turned out so well."

"Don't mention it." Burt said as he went back to the chair and just like that the moment was over. "Speaking of Kurt, where is that boy of mine?"

Blaine chuckled and looked at his watch. "According to my calculations he should be walking through that door in...5...4...3...2...1." Blaine counted and right on the 1 the door pushed open, with no sound, which Blaine thought was weird but he didn't think much about it, because Kurt had now joined them looking as gorgeous as ever.

Skin glowing, eyes sparkling, hair perfection. Kurt strolled though the room, graceful as ever, smelling like a rainforest. He was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans and a black long-sleeved shirt with a white tie. Blaine couldn't help but stare as he followed Kurt move to a desk where he pulled a few wrapped presents of his own and placed them under the tree.

"Okay, I am ready." He beamed as he sat down next to Blaine on the couch. Very close. Blaine was too aware of their knees touching.

"Who's first?" Burt asked.

"I am." Kurt said and placed a present in Burt's lap. "This is for you dad."

Burt smiled and quickly opened the present, finding a glass case with a baseball inside of it. But not just any baseball. It had a map of New York printed all over it.

"Holy shit, Kurt." Burt blurted out.

"It's a City Map Baseball, dad. I am told it's **the** collector item to own, for the diehard baseball fan."

"I know what it is." He took the baseball out. "This is so neat, Kurt. Thank you."

"I'm glad you like it." Kurt smiled as he watched his dad play with his new toy and could feel Blaine looking at him from out the corner of his eye.

"My turn." Burt suddenly said after putting the baseball back in it's case. "This is for you, Kurt."

He handed his son a present and watched with delight as Kurt turned into a five-year old. A very controlled five-year old. As always Kurt was gentle with his present, careful not to tear the paper off. The wrapping came off painfully slow but eventually revealed a framed photo of the entire Hummel-Hudson family. Kurt recognized it as being from last summer, a barbecue in the backyard, for the whole neighbourhood and vaguely remembered Burt gathering all of them in the same place and asking a neighbour to take the picture. It showed Burt and Carol in the middle with Finn and Rachel to the left of them and him and...Blaine...to the right. He looked at all the smiling faces wishing he could go back to that moment. Back before...everything.

"It's so you'll always remember where you came from even when you're so far away from us and know that you will always have a family to come home to." Burt said, tearing up.

"Wow, thank you dad." He stood up to hug him. "I really love it."

Blaine looked on with wet eyes, obviously touched by the scene unfolding and then he stood and picked up the tiny package he had been unsure about earlier. He placed it in Kurt's hands.

"This is something I bought back when we were together." Blaine said. "I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to gift it to you now, but I didn't want it to go to waste and it's a kinda personal present that I can re-gift to someone else." Kurt looked at him confused. "You will see why."

"Okay." Kurt unwrapped the tiny present nervously and discovered it was a jewelry box. _Oh my God_, he thought. _Please don't be a ring...please be a ring...please don't be a ring...please be a ring...please don't be a ring...pl..._, Kurt's mind was in the middle of a total bi-polar meltdown when it was interrupted by Blaine's voice.

"You are not gonna open it?"

"Um...of course I am." Kurt tried to sound completely normal but his voice was way too high to fool anyone. Slowly he opened the box revealing a pair of very expensive looking steel cufflinks and Kurt was both relieved and disappointed at the same time. _Why am I disappointed?_

"They are...um...special order, I have an identical pair." Blaine said. "I..um...had them engraved."

Kurt picked up one of the cufflinks and studied the engraving. B&K. He looked at Blaine who was now blushing all the way down to his feet and looked back at the cufflinks.

_B&K? B&K...?_ Then it hit him. _Blaine & Kurt_..._oh_. He realized he should probably say something, but he didn't know what and Blaine beat him too it, voice shaking.

"Look...it's okay if you don't want them, Kurt. I won't blame you, I'll just take them back." Blaine stared at him sheepishly and Kurt made a decision.

"Of course I want them. Don't be silly. They are beautiful Blaine." Kurt smiled. And he meant it. They really were. The thought behind them too, even if it could not mean the same now.

"Really?" Blaine looked taken aback.

"Yeah, they are perfect for the stylish New Yorker and I am nothing if not stylish." Kurt winked and Blaine just sat there, eyes wide in surprise. And then Kurt decided to give him a hug. As he wrapped his arms around him, he smelled in his scent and even though it was a short hug, it still gave him butterflies. Burt looked on with contentment.

"I have something for you too." He handed Blaine a bag. "It's nothing as fancy as what you got me, but..." Kurt said but Blaine stopped him.

"I am sure I am gonna love it."

Blaine looked in the bag and laughed as he pulled out a bow tie. But not just any bow tie. This was a sleek black leather bow tie, he didn't have anything like this one in his ever-growing collection.

"This is awesome Kurt, thank you!" He jumped on his feet eagerly and ran to the mirror to try it out right away. "So cool, I can wear it with anything."

Kurt smiled, seeing Blaine so excited over a bow tie. _Adorable_.

"Alright boys!" Burt suddenly said. "Blaine get over here. I have something for the both of you." Blaine returned wearing the bow tie and looked at Burt perplexed. Kurt had the same look on his face. "This is what I went to get earlier."

"Dad? What did you..." Kurt asked as Burt pulled out an envelope.

"Oh dad, no...we don't need any money." Kurt starting and Blaine followed suit.

"I am with him. I can't take your money..." Blaine said very matter of factly.

Burt just laughed. "It's not money, you idiots."

"Oh...then what?" Kurt asked and Blaine sighed with relief. He was not comfortable taking money from Burt. He didn't need them either.

Burt pulled out two tickets and both Kurt and Blaine leaned in. They were Broadway tickets.

"Evita! OMG dad!" Kurt squealed and jumped up and down on the spot as he snapped the tickets from Burt's hands. "Look Blaine, look! Evita!"

"That was very nice of you, Burt." Blaine smiled and took the tickets from Kurt before he could rip them apart in his excitement. "I'll just put these in a safe place, alright Kurt?"

Kurt just nodded, eyes glazed over. He was going to a Broadway show. A Broadway show. And not just any Broadway show. Evita.

"I love Evita!" Kurt screamed and Blaine laughed.

"I know. I still remember your rendition of "Don't cry for me Argentina" when you auditioned for The Warblers. And it's still one of the most amazing performances I have ever seen."

Kurt blushed and smiled shyly. "Thanks." He then turned to his dad and engulfed him in a hug. "And thank you dad!"

"You're welcome, son." Then he gestured to Blaine. "You too Blaine. Group hug." Burt pulled Blaine in and all three of them stood there for a while, just hugging.

As they finally pulled apart, Burt turned to them. "Now I will like to relax in front of the tv with some basketball and popcorn...and you are making them." He smirked as both boys nodded. "And then I believe you two have a big night to get ready for. The show starts at eight pm."

"Yes dad."

"Yes, Burt."

The boys echoed, before running off and Burt felt rather satisfied with himself as he settled down on the couch.


	6. A Heated Makeover

Watching or rather listening to Kurt get ready for a night out was one of the most insane things Burt had ever experienced. He could hear that son of his running back and forth in front of the mirror, talking to himself. It was: "Maybe I should match the black vest with the gray pants" this and "No, the hippo broche definitely doesn't go with the blue blazer" that. He couldn't actually see it because he was sitting on the couch with his back to the scene, but he could imagine it perfectly in his head.

He assumed it looked something similar to when Kurt was 6 years old and he had played dress up in his mothers closet. He had come out in a long purple dress, so long that he had been dragging half of it behind him on the floor and he had been in heels too, stumbling along on shaky legs. Somehow he had gotten into his mothers make-up as well and looked more og less like a clown, but the thing that had struck Burt the most was the wig. Elizabeth's wig. While battling the cancer she had lost all her hair and had bought quite a few different wigs, in different colours and hairstyles. Burt would be the first one to admit, that seeing his son like that had been conflicting to him, because already back then he knew what it most likely meant. Even if he wasn't a 100% sure...he couldn't ignore the signs and this was just one of many indicating that Kurt might grow up to be gay.

This realisation had not made Burt love Kurt any less or made him see his son differently, he had still loved Kurt with all his heart and knew that he always would, no matter what his sexual orientation turned out to be, but he had been worried because he knew the struggles that awaited Kurt in a homophobic society. He knew what his own generation used to call gays and it wasn't nice. Burt had been afraid that he wouldn't be able to protect him and his fears had been justified. Because he hadn't been able to protect Kurt at school. David Karofsky had made his son's life a hell, even threatening to kill him and all Burt could do back then was pull him out of McKinley and enroll him at Dalton Academy, even though he couldn't really afford it.

But at least something good had come of it. Kurt had met Blaine, someone who had been in his shoes, at a time where he needed someone who understood him the most. The timing couldn't have been better and Blaine had stepped up and helped Kurt through it. Along the way the boys had become best friends and then boyfriends and Burt was glad to see that the friendship bond had survived their break-up. It just proved to Burt what he already suspected, that the boys would stay in each others lives for a long time.

After making the popcorn Blaine had disappeared into the bathroom and returned all gelled down in tight red jeans and a black button down shirt. It had taken him about 30 minutes to get ready while Kurt hadn't even chosen an outfit yet and it had been two hours. Now Burt and Blaine were both sitting on the couch watching basketball like the night before, waiting for Kurt to make the all important wardrobe decision.

He suddenly came running out wearing dark blue jeans with a stylish metal belt buckle, and a light blue shirt that he had paired with a black, white and red tie in a square pattern. Over it he wore a black one button suit jacket. He was breathtaking.

"I think I found the perfect outfit." He exclaimed. "What do you think?"

"Looking good Kurt," Burt said.

"Um...yeah...very nice." Blaine stared a little too long and Kurt blushed against his will, but somehow managed to get it under control.

"I see you tamed the curls, Borat." He teased and Blaine threw a pillow in his direction as Kurt dived out of the way, but missed him by a mile on purpose.

"Still not funny, Kurt!" Blaine yelled but he smiled and Kurt knew he wasn't really offended.

"Easy boys." Burt warned but he too had a twinkle in his eye. Then Kurt noticed what Blaine had on.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He eyed Blaine up and down, critically.

"What?" Blaine followed Kurt's gaze. "What's wrong with this?" He gestured to his outfit.

"What's wrong?" Kurt mocked surprise and sighed. "You can not wear that to a Broadway show."

"Well, it's all I got Kurt. I didn't know I was going to see a Broadway show when I packed so I didn't bring anything fancy."

Kurt fell silent for about two seconds, then his eyes lit up.

"Don't worry about it, I have a plan." He smiled widely.

"I am afraid to ask?", Blaine smiled back tentatively.

"WWMKD" Kurt simply said.

"Excuse me?" Blaine asked confused.

"What Would Micheal Kors Do", Kurt translated.

"Oh", Blaine said recognising the name. "Still afraid to ask?"

"I am making you an outfit." Kurt said matter of factly.

"You have got to be joking?" Blaine raised an eyebrow.

"Nope." Kurt seemed determined.

"Kurt, there is no time." Blaine insisted.

"Oh please, they have less time than this to make an outfit on Project Runway." Kurt stated.

"Well, you would know." Blaine laughed.

"Exactly. I totally got this, now get over here and be my model." Kurt commanded and Blaine knew that resistance was futile. Kurt had that look of "I am doing this, come hell or high water" in his eyes and Blaine knew better than to mess with that. As he walked behind the curtain and into Kurt's dressing room he heard Burt ask:

"What is Project Runway?"

* * *

"You sure you know what you're doing?" Blaine asked, arms stretched out to each side.

"Are you doubting my abilities Mr Anderson?" Kurt said in mock horror as he continued to measure Blaine's arms with measuring tape while taking notes on a piece of paper.

"No, but...I've actually never seen how you do this?" Blaine gestured with his arms to himself.

"Arms still!" Kurt ordered. "And do what?" He then asked, interested.

"Sorry...I mean I have never seen you create clothes". Blaine said.

"I am hardly creating anything, Blaine. I am not really a designer. I just know what goes together."

"Oh...so you are not making me a whole new outfit in mere hours?" Blaine asked, a little disappointed.

"Of course not, don't be ridiculous." Kurt shook his head and started measuring Blaine's pants.

"And here I thought you were some kind of designer extraordinaire." Blaine smiled.

"Oh...I am. I could totally make you something if I had the materials and the time. But I don't." Kurt said. "Wow, sometimes I forget how short you really are."

"Hey!" Blaine pretended to be hurt. "So you do sow?"

"Um yeah, Blaine. You saw my prom outfit, it didn't make itself." Kurt rolled his eyes. "But that was for a special occasion and I saved up for the materials for months. Alright Frodo, strip."

The tv suddenly became louder and Blaine figured Burt didn't wanna hear anymore.

"Um...when you are done making fun of my hair and height, would you mind telling me why I should take my clothes off?" Blaine asked.

"Because I need your inner measurements in order for your outfit to fit, come on...we are in a hurry as it is." Kurt turned his back to him to grab the measurement tape off the table and expected Blaine to be in his underwear when he turned back, but that wasn't the case. "Um...Blaine?"

"I am...uh...not exactly comfortable doing this, Kurt." Blaine said looking down at the floor.

"What seems to be the problem?" Kurt raised an eyebrow and Blaine blushed, then something clicked for Kurt. "Oh...look Blaine, it's not like I haven't seen you before."

"I know, but things were different between us then."

"Right." Kurt paused. "I guess I could try to judge your measurements by just looking at you, but I can't guarantee the clothes will fit to a T. I don't wanna make you do something you are not comfortable with?" There was a question in his eyes and Blaine caved. He was being stupid and immature. This was Kurt. He trusted Kurt.

"No, screw it. I am being a child." Blaine said. "I'll do it."

He started taking off his shirt and Kurt smiled. But then he found himself staring at Blaine's tanned skin and firm body and had to swallow hard. He turned around pretending to look for something.

_Please...tell me he didn't see that. Please. And stop fidgeting, turn around, he is gonna notice._

Kurt turned around again, with his best poker face on and now Blaine was in his white boxers and nothing else. He looked like one of those freaking swimsuit models you saw in the magazines.

_Stay professional!_

"Alright, lets to this." Kurt moved closer to Blaine with the measuring tape. They were face to face, very close as Kurt reached out and touched Blaine's arm, gently rolling the tape around his bicep. Kurt could feel Blaine looking up at him but didn't dare return the gaze, afraid.

_What are you afraid of? _He ignored the voice.

"Okay, flex." Kurt said, voice managing to stay steady. Blaine did as he was told and Kurt got all electric on the inside at the sight and touch of Blaine's bicep flexing.

_Those muscles. When did he have the time to work out so much? I just want to...NO! Stop it!_

He took the measurements he needed on both arms and moved down to the legs. Unfortunately that put him almost face to face with Blaine's crotch which was very distracting.

* * *

For Blaine this was something different, but interesting. Something about it felt very sexual. First there was the fact that he was almost naked, then there was the close proximity of Kurt and then the gentle way he took his measurements. Kurt had very feminine hands, sensual hands. They weren't typical rough man hands, instead they were almost dancing lightly over his skin and it was almost more than he could take. He had been staring at Kurt the whole time, but Kurt hadn't looked up once and somehow Blaine was glad, because it gave him the freedom to stare, really take him in.

_Why is he so beautiful? Why am I turned on by this? And why didn't we do this before? _Blaine could just picture it. _Kurt the designer, taking advantage of his model, of him. It would have made one hell of a roleplaying game._

Then suddenly Kurt moved down to his legs and Blaine freaked, sure he wouldn't be able to not get hard. Kurt was down there, so close to his...

_Don't get hard, don't get hard. Don't get hard! Think of something else. _

He felt Kurt's hands fumble around down there, grazing his skin.

_Come on. Come on. Figure something out. How about that time you walked in on Cooper having sex in the shower with the girl next door. They were using a toy..._

Kurt dropped the tape, apologized, picked it back up and placed it firmly around Blaine's thighs.

_The toy! The toy! Cooper was using the toy...ON HIMSELF! _

That worked, Blaine managed to remain soft and exhaled hard as Kurt stood and scribbled something down. Then Kurt turned around and placed the tape around his hips and once more they were face to face. And again Blaine stared.

* * *

Kurt had trouble concentrating on what he was doing. He had dropped the tape, not because he was clumsy, but because Blaine had put him off-balance. Indecent thoughts kept erupting from his brain and he couldn't turn it off. He wanted to throw Blaine down on the bed, tear off those boxers and have his way with him, but he knew he couldn't and shouldn't. However...he was pretty sure that if it hadn't been for his father sitting 5 feet away, he wouldn't have cared about what he could, couldn't or shouldn't do. It would have been a re-run of last night. Just more x-rated. Burt was the ultimate cockblock. At least when he was awake. Suddenly Kurt wondered if it wasn't time for his dad to take a nap.

_Ugh...control yourself!_

He wrote down Blaine's hip measurements and knew there were only one thing missing.

"Are we done?" Blaine asked.

"One last thing. I need to measure your neck."

"Okay."

He could have sworn Blaine sounded a little off, but still didn't trust himself enough to look at him. Instead he kept his eyes locked on the tape as he swung it around Blaine's shoulders and neck. He tightened the tape around the base of his neck which in turn made Blaine moan just a tiny bit and it set Kurt on fire. He wondered why they hadn't done this before. This was pretty hot. A thought occurred to him.

_If someone were into such a thing, this measuring tape could be used for something very different. Like maybe...a little...bondage...fun. Would he...maybe be into that?_

And then Kurt did something he shouldn't have done. He looked up, was in hazel heaven and knew the answer. Blaine was staring at him with those golden eyes, really staring...the want clear and he didn't look away when their eyes met, like Kurt had expected. Suddenly he wasn't able to break eye contact, it was like being under a spell. The concept of time ceased to exist and they just stood there looking at each other and somehow moving closer together until they were just inches apart. Kurt was close enough to see that Blaine's lips were trembling slightly and he wanted to use the tape as a rope, secure it tightly around his neck, pull him in and kiss him. Hard. He tightened his grip on the tape and...

"Boys? Everything okay back there?" Burt barged in and Kurt and Blaine jumped apart and scattered like scared mice. The measurement tape went flying though the air and landed with a soft thump on the floor. Burt looked at both of them for a few seconds with an unreadable expression.

"It got really quiet back here for a while." He said suspiciously.

"Sorry Burt. We were just...", Blaine started, when Kurt jumped in.

"Really focused...on...um...getting this done." Kurt was trying really hard not to blush, he was sure his dad had seen everything that were about to happen, but there was no way he was admitting to anything.

"I see." Burt looked his son up and down, then shifted his gaze to a half-naked and very uncomfortable looking Blaine in the corner. "Well...if you're done with whatever you were doing, then maybe Blaine could put on some pants?"

"We are." Kurt said. "Blaine, catch." Kurt threw him the pants and Blaine quickly pulled them back on without a word.

"Good. Then I'll just go back to my game. I'll be on the couch...**5 feet away**." He put extra emphasis on those last words making sure they got the hint. Burt wasn't an idiot. He knew exactly what he'd interrupted. _Teenagers_, he thought. But he wasn't going to get directly involved in whatever mess his son had going on with Blaine. They had to handle that themselves.

* * *

"So...where were we...", Kurt said. "Oh right...I think I got all of your data." He wasn't looking at Blaine as he spoke, he couldn't. Instead he stared down at the paper, going over the measurements. They both knew what had almost happened and he didn't wanna talk about it. He just wanted to make Blaine his clothes and have a nice evening at the theater. Without any drama. And he was relieved when Blaine just went along with it.

"So what now?" Blaine put on his shirt and Kurt sneaked one last peak before the abs disappeared from view.

"Now I go see what I have in my closet already and then I adjust it to fit you. It shouldn't be too hard, we are both slender so it's really only a matter of taking the legs and sleeves up."

"Okay...so...I guess you are done with me for now?" It was a loaded question.

"For now, yes." That was a loaded answer and Kurt knew it. "I am gonna start working on this right away, you can join my dad if you want?"

"What if I would rather stay here and...observe?" Blaine asked.

"You are welcome to stay, but it's really not that interesting." Kurt hoped he'd stay.

"I'll stay." Blaine sat on a chair. "Impress me...oh ye fashion wizard."

"You are such a dork." Kurt laughed and Blaine grinned widely. Then they fell into a comfortable silence as Kurt picked out a silver suit and began working on it while Blaine looked on, fascinated. Kurt was really talented with a thread and needle. And fast. About an hour later Kurt threw him the pants.

"Try these on."

"Yes, Sir." Blaine goofed. "It's a perfect fit."

"Of course it is." Kurt winked and tossed him the jacket. It fit too.

"This is a really nice suit, Kurt. Where did you get it?"

"Macy's".

"Really?" Blaine asked surprised. "Doesn't look like something from Macy's."

"I've told you before, I have an eye for bargains. You don't really think I would cut up an expensive suit, now do you?" Kurt smiled at his surprise and Blaine just shrugged. "Now put on this black shirt, it should fit you and then I do believe someone gave you a black leather bow tie that would complete this look perfectly." Kurt winked.

"Okie dokie." Blaine changed his shirt and ran off, only to return moments later with the bow tie on. Kurt looked him up and down appreciatively.

"I am a genius." Kurt stated.

"And oh so humble." Blaine laughed.

"Shut up." He stuck his tongue out at him. "I am. Just look at you."

Blaine checked himself out in the mirror and was literally shocked by what he saw. He looked good. Maybe even dazzling. The silver suit complimented him. It was a sleek sophisticated look. Very New York.

"You look handsome, Blaine. Very few people can pull of gray nuances. But I just knew that light silver colour would match your skin tone and hair colour."

"Thank you." Blaine blushed a tiny bit but it didn't break though his olive skin, for which he was grateful. "Hey, what time is it?"

"Good question." Kurt looked at his watch. "It's 6:45. We have a little over an hour, but we should get going. Come with me, I need to show off my creation." He dragged Blaine by the arm.

* * *

"Dad, check him out." Kurt said proudly as he placed Blaine in from of the tv so Burt couldn't miss him.

"Very stylish, Kurt." Burt said with appreciation.

"I know and check him from behind." Kurt turned Blaine around on the spot. "Fits like a glove."

"I believe you, Kurt." Burt tried to not look at Blaine's butt.

"Now from the side." Kurt asked looking at Blaine while turning his finger around in circles.

"Kurt, I am not some cardboard cutout you can just move around." Blaine complained.

"Sure, you are." Kurt smiled. "For me?" The puppy dog eyes came out and Blaine sighed as he turned to his side careful to pull in his tummy. How could he resist that.

"Looking good from all sides, now can I get back to my game, Kurt." Burt asked.

"Sure." Kurt said and mouthed a "Thank You", to Blaine who just smiled. "We are gonna go now, okay dad? Don't stay up too long, keep yourself warm and do not touch the barbecue chicken wings in the fridge, if you get hungry there's a salad for you."

"Right. Salad." Burt pouted on the couch, but smiled at them as they put on their coats. "Have fun, boys." Then there was a quick hug and a "See ya Burt" from Blaine, as the door slammed shut. Burt was alone and all he could think about was the chicken wings in the fridge. _Goddamn heart __attack. _He sighed and pulled the blanket over his head. He was gonna take a nap.


	7. A Nice Night Out

**OMG! People, I am so sorry that this took so long. Real life got in the way. There were computer crashes and birthdays and stuff and a vacation and part of me suddenly wasn't sure where this story was going and I guess I panicked and got writers block or something. But here is chapter 7, hope you like it :)**

* * *

As soon as the door to the apartment slammed shut Kurt linked his arm with Blaine's and they proceeded down the stairs and out the door of the building. Something about it just felt natural, the two of them walking side by side down the streets of New York, just like they had both imagined doing a year ago. But a lot of things could change in a year Kurt thought and it was a constant stab to his heart to think about what exactly had changed.

_I wish things could be different._

He stole a glimpse at Blaine out the corner of his eye. Blaine who was totally in awe of everything and then Kurt remembered that this was new to him, being in New York. Blaine was captivated by everything from the buildings to the people to the energy of the city, his eyes big and his mouth hanging slightly open and Kurt couldn't help but wonder if he had looked the same way the first times he visited. He thought he probably had, but the newness of it had worn off a while ago. Not that he didn't still love the city and felt at home here, he was just used to it by now. But as he watched Blaine's excitement, he made a silent promise to show Blaine the city or as much of it as he could, in the time he was here.

"It's amazing isn't it?" Kurt said.

"Sorry, what?" Blaine asked, he had clearly been deep in thought.

"The city", Kurt smiled. "There is just something about New York."

"No kidding." Blaine agreed. "It's nothing like Ohio, that's for sure."

"Really? I hadn't noticed", Kurt joked and Blaine just rolled his eyes.

"I am serious, Kurt. Everything is different and I am not just talking about the obvious. You're different too, the city has changed you...", Blaine trailed off, leaving Kurt curious.

"How do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean...you've grown up, you are far from the teenager I met on that stairwell. I barely recognize you anymore...", Blaine sighed and Kurt sent him a questioning look. "It's a good thing, trust me. It just feels like every time I see you, you've changed a little bit more. I guess I am just afraid of losing my best friend...of you growing and evolving without me." Blaine lowered his eyes to the ground as Kurt watched him.

"People do that, you know. They grow up." Kurt said, before adding. "Some grow apart." Blaine stiffened and Kurt regretted it immediately. "I am not saying we will grow apart, but look at us. Just in the months we haven't seen each other...we have both changed." Blaine snapped his head up at that.

"I haven't changed, Kurt." Blaine said matter of factly and Kurt couldn't help but laugh at Blaine's serious expression.

"Are you kidding me, Blaine? I haven't seen you this confident in your own skin, ever." Blaine looked like he was about to object but before he could say anything Kurt added. "And no, performing doesn't count. We both know that's not really you up there, but some stage persona. What you do on that stage is acting, it's putting on a mask and hiding who you really are. Don't even try to deny it." Blaine raised his adorable triangle eyebrows and furrowed them for a moment, but then shrugged.

"I guess you're right." Blaine admitted.

"I know I am. Fellow performer here, remember? Or did you already forget I go to NYADA", Kurt teased, before turning serious again. "Honestly though. The only reason I know that is because I do it too. I think all performers do it as a coping mechanism. And then of course there's the fact I know you so well." Kurt smiled and bumped his shoulder into Blaine's, who smiled back and they walked a little in silence.

"I am curious to know though", Kurt said. "What inspired this massive change in you?"

Blaine was quiet, clearly thinking about Kurt's question, then he spoke.

"Sam."

"Sam?"

"Yeah...he...helped me. After we broke up he was really there for me. And he made me realize that...I had been too co-dependent...on, well...you."

"Me?" Kurt asked perplexed.

"Yeah Kurt, think about it." Blaine said. "I changed schools for you, I basically followed you around like a puppy, I left the Warblers, all my friends...Dalton, my...for lack of a better term...security blanket. I thought I was really brave at the time, leaving to follow you, it wasn't until after you left for New York that I discovered that I had only switched one security blanket for another and that it had suddenly been ripped from under my feet and I couldn't handle it, so I went and did something incredibly stupid." He sighed and shook his head, realisation setting in. "I have never really been the independent kind, I always leaned on someone or something else to get me through, to give me confidence and make me feel good enough, first it was applause that gave me that, later it was you...when you left I turned to...well, you know. Honestly, I blame my parents. Maybe if I had had that support and love from home, I wouldn't have been so insecure."

"Oh...", Kurt didn't know what to say. When Blaine explained it like that it kinda made sense.

"It took Sam to make me understand that my security blanket needed to be myself. I needed to grow and learn to feel at ease with just being me, alone...without someone else to lean on. The confidence has to come from within, not from without, you know." Kurt nodded. "And I guess that's what I have been trying to teach myself."

"It's working. I can tell and I am really proud of you, I like this new you." Kurt gave him a big smile and Blaine blushed, then he added: "Remind me to thank Sam later. All of the sudden I feel a need to send him a huge fruit basket." Blaine laughed at that.

"If you insist on sending him anything, I suggest a year's supply of chapstick", Blaine mused. "I swear that boy goes through one a day."

"Well...with lips like those, I am not surprised." Kurt chuckled and Blaine chuckled along with him knowingly, then added: "Just remember they have to be cherry flavoured, it's his favorite." That stopped Kurt right in his tracks.

"Just how close have you been to Sam's lips?" He swatted Blaine's arm as Blaine sucked in a breath, eyes wide.

"No...no no, Kurt. No. It's nothing like that. We just share from time to time."

"Share lips?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh my God, Kurt. I...No. Chapstick! We share the chapstick!" Blaine looked absolutely horrified. "I swear, that's all there is to it."

"Relax, I know", Kurt giggled letting Blaine off the hook. "I'm just messing with you".

"You jerk, that was really mean." But Blaine was smiling to himself.

"It was also really cute to see you get flustered like that." Kurt laughed softly. "Oh, and just so you know, I would be perfectly fine with you having a crush on Sam." Blaine raised one eyebrow at that.

"Seriously?"

"Kinda...I mean, I wasn't gonna say anything but...well...can't fault you. Been there, done that. Because...well...as I said, those lips! Oh sweet Lord." Kurt exclaimed dramatically fanning himself and it was Blaine's turn to swat at him, but then he had to concede, because Kurt had a point.

"Those lips, indeed."

"Just remember you already have a best friend, that role has already been filled by yours truly." Kurt said.

"I'll try to keep that in mind", Blaine beamed. Then they smirked at each other.

* * *

As they entered the theater district Blaine's eyes grew large again as he took it all in.

"Wow."

"Yes. Wow." Kurt smiled, grateful to have a best friend who could appreciate the fabulousness that was Broadway, then he realized something. "You are about to have your Broadway virginity taken, Blaine. You nervous?"

"With you, never." It just spilled from Blaine's mouth so naturally without hesitation that Kurt doubted he even realized what he had just said. And Kurt's heart did a little swoop at that as they entered the theater. It was just so incredibly sweet and endearing.

After finding their seats, sitting down and turning off their phones, they grew silent as the lights went down and the show began. It really was amazing, the magic of Broadway. Kurt couldn't help but glance over at Blaine now and again to see how he was liking it and was pleased to find Blaine completely enthralled with the performance.

As "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" began Kurt turned his head back to the stage. It was his favorite song in this musical after all and he wasn't gonna miss it. Little did he know that Blaine turned to stare at him right then, watching him all the way through it.

Blaine didn't care that he was missing the song. He had already heard the best version of it there was, spilling from Kurt's lips once upon a time when this...them...was oh so new and all that mattered were Warblers in blue blazers, afternoons in coffee shops and flirty duets in extravagant libraries. Before McKinley and New York. It all seemed so long ago and at the same time just like yesterday. And as he sat there in the darkness all he could think about was kissing Kurt. About being allowed to kiss Kurt. And it was maddening.

_Get a hold of yourself_, he scolded.

He finally decided to just enjoy the moment and allowed himself to just sit there, to drink in Kurt's presence as he was mouthing every word to the song and Blaine pictured him singing it. Again. And wished for the days when life was simple.

Things between them weren't perfect, Blaine knew that. But they were better, much better and he was happier than he had been in a long time. Feeling bold he took Kurt's hand to give it a tiny squeeze as the song came to a close and was delighted when Kurt looked up at him, smiled and squeezed back.

_Yes. Things were definitely better_, Blaine thought and sighed happily, hope renewed.

* * *

They were still holding hands as they left the theater, none of them pulling away and Kurt was fine with that.

_Friends do this, friends hold hands and that is all we are, friends. Just friends...friends friends friends, nothing more than friends...platonic...just friends...then why do you wanna kiss him? Stop it. Think about something else._

"So...how do you feel now that you have been deflowered?" Kurt asked innocently but the glint in Blaine eye told him right away that he was gonna regret asking that question in about...3...2...1...

"Oh, like a new man, Kurt. It's changed my life!" Blaine declared loudly, making a few people turn as he looked at Kurt, a cheeky smile on his lips. "You wanna know how much?" He winked, actually fucking winked at him and it was stinking cute. But this could not be good, Kurt thought. He knew Blaine too well.

"Oh no, Blaine. Please. Don't make a scene..", he barely had time to finish his sentence, before Blaine was falling to his knees like he was worshipping the theater and declared to the whole world that he, Blaine Anderson, was no longer a Broadway virgin. This time a lot of people stopped and laughed and Kurt facepalmed, slightly mortified. But Blaine just grinned with that megawatt smile of his.

"You are so...I don't have a word for it...", Kurt sighed as he peeked out through his fingers, his face red and pulled Blaine to his feet, but he was smiling.

"I am what? Charming, amazing, irresistable?" Blaine wagged his eyebrows and Kurt rolled his eyes, but he couldn't keep a straight face.

"I was thinking more in the lines of a total dork. I can't believe you did that. I can never show my face here again, you know. You took Broadway from me, Blaine. I'll never forgive you".

"Awwww, poor Kurtie", Blaine chuckled.

"I am serious, Broadway is all that is good in this world and brings a smile to my face. You Blaine Anderson, has stolen my smile from me."

"Well, we can't have that, can we. However will I make it up to you". Blaine teased. "Maybe this will help", and suddenly Blaine was all over him, tickling him.

"Oh my God, Blaine! Stop it", Kurt laughed. "Ah!"

"Sorry Kurt, but I can't possibly stop until I am sure that smile stays where it is." Blaine continued. "I mean, what kind of friend would I be if I did that?"

"Okay okay, the smile is back!" Kurt chuckled.

"For good?"

"Yes, for good. The smile is back for good, I promise. You saved the smiles and all is right in the world. Now lets go. Please! Before I jab you in the ribs."

"You wouldn't."

"You sure about that?" Kurt smirked and two seconds later jabbed an elbow into Blaine's side, making him yelp and let go.

"Hey! Ouch!" Blaine exclaimed dramatically.

"You baby, I hardly touched you." Kurt giggled as Blaine rubbed his side.

"I can't believe you did that, not cool". Blaine was trying really hard to stay serious and failing.

"Such a drama queen, besides...serves you right and we all know that when you decide to tickle people it's at your own risk and the people being tickled can't be held responsible for any injuries."

"Is that so...", Blaine said...this time smiling as Kurt linked their arms again.

"Yup! Now...you up for a late dinner, it's only 10 pm."

"Only 10 pm", Blaine shook his head in disbelief. "If we were in Ohio everything would be closed and we would be in bed by now".

"Yes, well. This is New York, it never sleeps and neither shall we. So, you hungry?"

"When can I not eat?" Blaine asked and Kurt laughed.

"Right. Italian okay? I know this great place not too far from here."

"Of course. Lead the way, good Sir". Blaine grinned.

"Such a dork. God!", Kurt rolled his eyes fondly.

"You love it." Blaine said knowingly.

"Yeah...and you're lucky I do. Not everyone would put up with your shenanigans." Kurt gave his hand a light squeeze then and Blaine rested his head on his shoulder.

"Don't I know it." He sighed contentedly. And with that they walked down the sidewalk arm in arm, both of them silently thanking Burt for giving them just what they needed. Each other.


End file.
